Choosing a Caregiver for your Baby | TicTalkToe

I remember being a clueless mother three months ago when I had to appoint a caregiver for Tara. I spoke to every possible new mom I met, so that I could start my search for Tara’s caregiver. I would often think to myself, To me, Tara is more precious than anything else in this world. How would I ever entrust her with someone, who is not my family?

Will she love my baby?

Will she be hygienic enough?

How do I protect my valuables from her prying eyes?

Many such thoughts clouded my mommy mind as I had to resume working. I was very new and inexperienced to the idea of appointing a caregiver or ayah as they are popularly known as. I contacted one such Ayah Centre, who claimed that they specialised in providing caregivers for infants/babies. They even had a Facebook Page, which made it seem all the more reliable with five star reviews and client testimonials posted by them. I contacted them over telephone and elaborated my requirements. The lady was very polite over the phone, and took a day to find someone as per my needs. And she was hired in a day.

Tara’s first caregiver was barely twenty years old (atleast as per her Aadhar card). Mother to a five year old, and married when she was fourteen, she had zero experience in child care. I still cannot reason out why the Ayah Centre would send a 20 year old to manage my six month old. And as luck had it, she would mostly be on phone and her phone would be constantly ringing. When not on phone, she would hold Tara in her arms and cuddle her in a manner that would make me uncomfortable and send a shiver down my spine! She would snuggle close to her and climb onto our bed, and sleep by her side. Initially, I thought of it as my jealous alter ego trying to manipulate my brain. We hired her for five days a week, however, she would not come for more than three days. Thankfully, after the third wave of Covid, she herself announced that she would no longer be visiting my residence and disappeared very very mysteriously (even the Ayah Centre showed no interest in sending a replacement). I am linking the Facebook Page of the Ayah Centre HERE

The first thing I did after this incident was to change the Ayah Centre. I now had a month old experience in finding a caregiver for Tara. I cannot stress the importance of contacting a reliable Ayah Centre if you are looking for a caregiver. We contacted an age old centre who were in this business for a long time. I elaborated my requirements (now with a lot more clarity and focus), and the next day they sent over someone for Tara’s caregiving. She was in her forties and it was only after she started working that I realised how unprofessional the previous lady and the Ayah Centre was! It was then that I deliberated writing a Blog Post about my experience on finding a Caregiver for Tara, despite my busy schedule, so that it may help many other new mommas out there.

New moms sailing in the same boat, hold on! Your journey to find a caregiver for your baby might have just begun, but you definitely need to consider a lot of factors while appointing a caregiver for your baby. Elaborating some of the key points here, so that you need not be as clueless as I was!

Choosing a caregiver: First you need to make up your mind about the functions and role that the caregiver will be playing for your baby. Do you want someone who will solely be entrusted with the baby’s responsibility? Or may be you would want someone who will help you with the household chores once the baby is asleep. Elaborate your requirements to the Ayah Centre accordingly and have them send you someone alike. Also do remember to ask for documents like aadhar card, voter card from your baby’s caregiver.

Be vigilant enough: In case you are stepping out for work, have someone at home who will supervise/keep an eye on the caregiver. Set up close circuit cameras at home as well. That way, you can always keep an eye on your baby and this will ensure that your mind is at peace.

Hygiene : Totally non-negotiable, specially in this era of Covid and since she will be handling your baby/infant. Our caregiver takes a shower as soon as she arrives, wears clean clothes (she leaves two sets of clothes at our house, washes them before leaving) and wears a mask (mostly while Tara is in her arms). Her nails should be clipped (I do a random check once in a while and offer my nail clipper in case I find her nails have grown). I wanted her to get rid of her jewellery as well, since Tara has a habit of pulling her ear rings/chain, but then one has to compromise with a few things.

Punctuality: Please set your boundaries on whether the caregiver would be working for a 4-6-8-10-12 hour shift. Inform the caregiver accordingly so that she can set her train/bus timings. We hired Tara’s ayah for 8 hours, which works well for us. Tara’s caregiver is mostly on time, due to which Tara’s routine is rarely disrupted.

Accountability: In case the caregiver is unable to report (for whatsoever reason), such should be communicated both to you and the centre as early as possible so that there are no last minute surprises. Centre should also be willing to send a replacement for the day, so that your work routine or the baby’s routine does not get disrupted.

Sense of duty: The caregiver should be pro-active. It might take a few days to get accustomed to the baby’s routine. Thereafter, she would know when the bathe the baby, when to feed her, when to make her sleep. Let her be on her own after a few days, but keep an eye on the caregiver.

Respecting your boundaries: Let the caregiver respect your boundaries. If mealtimes mean no screen time for your baby, let her follow the same. Be rigid, but polite. Caregivers come with their own experiences and theories, so in such cases of conflict, always learn to smile and ignore. Be very clear about your instructions and her responsibilities, else it might become confusing both for the ayah and the baby. Also, it is always a good idea if the caregiver relies less on television/mobile but engages by singing out rhymes, lullabies, or reads out books to the baby. 

Last but not the least, please be patient. Ayahs are also human beings and they might err. Be kind to them. Do keep reminding them with your instructions and give them time to adjust with your baby. I am lucky that Tara is a friendly baby and loves being in her caregiver’s arms. 

Though many prefer appointing a caregiver via personal contacts and word of mouth, but I would still prefer the Ayah Centre to do its job. The rates might soar up in such cases, but you would have your peace of mind in case the caregiver is absent or is negligent about her duties.

I hope this blog post helps a lot of new mommas regain their peace of mind, and they know what to look for in a caregiver.

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