Delivering My Baby | Journey to Motherhood | Overall Experience | Pregnancy Diaries

Hi everyone. I hope you all are keeping well. 

While my last post came across as a helpful one for all would be mommies, I got simultaneous requests on sharing my overall pregnancy journey and experience. Since I have been able to steal a little time from my routine (I am at my Mom’s place for the past few days), I decided to take this opportunity to pen down my experience into a blog post.

My journey to pregnancy has already been shared in this post New Section on my Blog – Pregnancy Diaries | My Pregnancy Journey

We celebrated our ninth month baby shower in around the end of April. The platter consisted of all the yummy food that I had been craving for during my pregnancy. In the beginning of May, my nesting instincts had started kicking in! I started sourcing all the clothes that I had bought for my newborn, and started washing them thoroughly and sorting them. My baby would be a summer baby and I had planned the wardrobe essentials accordingly. More of sleeveless jhablas for the newborn. Extra set of cloth nappies, wash cloths, bibs were bought and sanitised. On the other hand, I also began sorting my clothes and kept away the ones that I would not wear in another year (thanks to lock down and work from home after my maternity leave). I got myself my feeding bra and maternity nighties. Everything I wanted was in place and things looked very much in order. Then one fine afternoon, as I was working from home, I received a message from the hospital stating that my appointment with my gynecologist was cancelled due to his hospitalisation. I was barely two weeks away from my delivery date. I immediately panicked and felt that something was not in place. My husband rushed to the hospital (which is barely a five minute walk from our house). We learnt that our Doctor was fighting with Covid and was hospitalised in the same hospital where my delivery was scheduled. I was obviously very nervous since I had crossed my 35th week of pregnancy. We tried to learn from the hospital about a substitute doctor who would be handling his cases and came across another gynecologist, who later went on to become my Doctor. Truth be told, changing your Doctor at the eleventh hour threw me off guard. But, I had very little, or you might say, practically no time to think about it. We went ahead with our Doctor, and I paid her a visit. She announced that my C-section would be performed in another 10 days. Suddenly, I started doubting the entire process. Would the baby be ready in another 10 days? I have no signs of distress, I am leading a comfortable life, why do they need to take the baby out in 10 days? Why can’t the baby arrive a little later? I had so many questions, but no answers to them. Add to it, handing over my case to a Doctor I had barely met few minutes ago. I was still hopeful that my Doctor would recover from Covid and join me at the operation theater in 10 days. My tests and scans were performed on time, reports were absolutely normal, and the C-section was scheduled. Only three days to go, when I heard that my Doctor lost his battle to Covid. That was it! My entire pregnancy journey was so positive that I could not believe that I lost my Doctor when I was about to reach the finishing line! I was obviously shattered and grieved this untimely loss.

I went ahead and got myself admitted a day prior to my scheduled C-section as per the Doctor’s recommendation. Covid test had already been performed three days prior to my admission. The results were negative. If you ask me, personally C-section was a blessing in my case. In these unprecedented times, a planned C-section ensured that there are very little surprises and I was someone who wanted everything to be structured and planned. So I walked to my hospital and got myself admitted sometime in the afternoon with my medical reports and hospital bag. I felt as if I was walking into my hostel. I opted for a twin sharing bed, and my roommate had already delivered a baby few days back. They gave me the hospital dress and I changed. Then they performed a series of tests, glucose, BP, oxygen, Doppler (for baby’s heartbeat) and informed my husband about the readings. He left the hospital thereafter and was asked to come next day at 9 in the morning. I started chitchatting with my roommate about how her experience was, and how her recovery ensued. I was advised light diet for dinner and no water after 5:30 am next day. My operation was scheduled at around 9:30 in the morning. That night I had to compulsorily empty my bowels, which I did.

I woke up at around 5 am on the scheduled date of delivery, had my bath in a relaxed manner (I knew I would only be on sponge bath for the few days henceforth). I was given a gown which had an open back (for administering the epidural). Then began the ordeal. A cannula was inserted into my left hand vein to administer intra-venous fluid and medicines at around 7 am. This was the most painful process of my entire C-section. Throughout the process, I kept on thinking if there is more pain to witness, but the rest of the procedure with respect to delivering the baby was a breeze. I climbed up to the stretcher by 9 am. I was constantly in touch with my husband through my phone. He along with my parents had arrived at the hospital and I was allowed to see them once briefly. I was very positive, and kept on cheering myself, but both my parents and husband looked very very nervous. Anyway, to cut the long story short, I was wheeled into the operation theater by 9:30 after I signed a few consent forms, while my husband completed the rest of the formalities. I was slid onto the operating table, which I felt was so narrow that I could have fallen off! The blood pressure monitor was fixed, the oxygen was kept on watch. The anesthesiologist asked me to bend my head in the sitting position and take a few deep breaths, which I did. I did everything to ensure that I co-operated with the team. I was administered the epidural which hardly hurt! (Throughout my life I had imagined this step would be painful). The lower part of my body, particularly legs, became numb almost in a few seconds. Then I laid back, and a catheter was inserted, which I didn’t feel at all. (Again I had imagined that inserting a catheter would also hurt). I was constantly breathing deeply to stay calm. I saw my gynecologist walk in along with a few other doctors. I could barely make out anyone since I was not wearing my spectacles. Then they started operating. One strange experience that I felt was that at one point of time, I felt the bed shake really hard. As if I was on a joyride in an amusement park. In the next 15 minutes, I heard the baby cry. I was in my senses fully and was very calm. I looked at the clock which was on my left. The baby cried really loud, and for a second I was wondering if I should feel embarrassed for the cries (silly me!). I kept on thinking if it was a boy or a girl for almost 2-3 minutes, but held my patience and did not ask the Doctors.  The nurse then got her near my head after cleaning her and exclaimed “you have a beautiful girl!” I was so excited and nervous and happy (actually the emotion that I felt at the moment cannot be described in words, hence I am not even attempting to do so!). The first thing that came to my mind was, “Ohh I have to get her ears pierced in a few years from now“! Throughout my pregnancy, almost 99 percent of the people who saw me or my bump exclaimed how I would have a baby boy, which actually turned into my belief as I started addressing my bump as HE. However, I had always wanted a little girl and finally, she was here! The next hour was like a long long wait. The doctors were still operating (probably cleaning and stitching my abdomen) and I was bored to death! They were talking among themselves about Covid, lives lost, lockdown and nobody chit chatted with me! I kept on craning my neck sometimes to see what the operation theater looked like. How I had imagined that a huge yellow light would hang above my abdomen (as they show in movies). But it was nothing as I had imagined. Everything looked very different. At the end, I could hear my Doctor leaving the room, and counting the instruments used during C-section. I was then transferred to the stretcher, and wheeled out of the room. I saw my husband for barely ten seconds. He looked too excited and exclaimed “We have our Nayantara!” I was then taken to my room, and I was very much in my senses. In fact, I could even fold my legs a little.

In another two hours, my baby was with me for her first feed. I was wondering how tiny she was and how much she looked like my husband! I held her close to my chest. She was breathing so fast. I kept talking to her a little and she almost fell asleep. She was taken back to the nursery and I tried resting a little. Everything happened so quickly and it was practically painless. I was imagining when would I feel the pain! Truth be told, I never felt any pain except for the cannula episode (I am someone who is very scared of needles and blood). The minimal pain was a pleasant surprise for me. The entire day was spent sleeping and wondering what my baby was up to! I was put on a liquid diet for the rest of the day (imagine drinking tea with the help of soup spoons). The next day, I was given semi solid food and thereafter normal diet ensued. 

On day three, my catheter was removed and I walked to the bathroom with a little support. It did hurt but was bearable. On day six, both me and baby were discharged from the hospital. In between, I took my medicines regularly and always found a reason to walk within the corners of my room to recover. The incision area did feel a little sore, but it was very well taken care of. On day eight, I removed the pasting on my own and took a long shower. Applied an ointment on the area as prescribed by the Doctor and it healed very well. 

I resumed back to my household chores gradually. Since both me and my husband take care of the baby on our own, we divide all the work among ourselves. So while I am in charge of the baby’s feed, our breakfast and dinner, my husband takes care of the baby’s laundry. Again changing the diaper and bathing the little one is a joint effort. I would not say that we are perfect! We fail, falter but then again we keep trying and come up with hacks to make our lives easier. 

I was also asked to cover regarding postpartum depression. Yes, it is not unheard of! And yes, it is true. Once the baby is out, our body goes through a lot of hormonal changes. We bleed. We feel overwhelmed at the drop of a hat. I can only share my personal experience here. The day I was discharged from the hospital, I was holding my baby in my arms and was being taken to the ground floor by a wheelchair, although I could walk. As I took a last look at the corridor of the maternity ward, tears started rolling down my eyes. I do not know why, but I surely missed the place which gave me my baby and nursed me for six long days. Again once I was back home, I could sometimes look at the baby and feel happy. Next moment, I would cry for no reason. Or pick up a fight with my family for no reason. Sometimes I would feel I am not doing my best and am not being able to cope up with the changes. This is very normal and happens. But can be risky if left untreated for a long time. Thankfully I took out time to deal with it and get back to what I love, cooking, blogging, and so on. Once in a fortnight, I make it a point to step out for some time away from my baby and breathe. Talk to friends. Talk to family. Dress up after a shower.

With this, I would sign off and end my lengthy blog post. I hope I could reach out to the section of my blog readers, who find this post useful. In case you have any other queries, please feel free to reach out to me via Instagram. Till then, take care.